| a post, as usual |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|06:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | The Title that you | ] |
| [ | music |
| | will actually read | ] |
I'm going to be perfectly honest *wink* with all of you |
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| Sci Fi |
[May. 3rd, 2005|03:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | irresponsible | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Marshall Crenshaw; the standard outlet of my suffering | ] |
So that favorite motif in the time travel books of yere
you know the one that's like: You may not meet your future and/or past self or bad things will happen, think back to the future
weeell... this is my problem
I cannot hold myself accountable for my own actions..
I'm getting better but most of the time.. ONLY when i'v done something wrong.. I tend to kind of shift blame elsewhere and deny my relation to the conflict.
this is fucking annoying and demonstrative of my weak spirited brand of life
so bout the time travel kickshawse
I feel like I too would be one of the countless idiots who could not look at themselves as others see them
last weekend my peter pan complex was going through the roof
and made me feel like shit
so I vent.. defuir or whatever |
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| hoo! |
[Apr. 18th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | existential, oooh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mrs. Greenthumbs | ] |
all right I got some writing to do
put simply I'm feeling today like the most ridiculous of man's behaviors is this "freedom" he has "not" decided to empower himself with
I mean I only have my own brain to go from but I'm sure, If man's access to memory allowed, then one could trace "decisions" in the present to the memories and instincts responsible for their outcome(this in essence an argument stating that the only way we can control decision is by controlling input.. So turn off the mother fucking telly!!)
Which presents me with a strange decision, ignoring the unanswerable question of how well I'm now at my age "impressed" by the events of the present, I'm having to look at what kind of experiences I want shaping the robin's egg nestled in my skull
this is just after mad collegeness
I've decided that creativity, in my case, is more just there and almost unconscious
so It seems ridiculous to go to a school where they teach me how to create things
but with creativity as the staple of my intellect I'm closing in on the desire to go to school in the sciences
which is funny cuz the only thing I'm really suited for is physical labor |
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| hehe |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | yeah, right | ] |
| [ | music |
| | In Utero... Biatch! | ] |
I like that last post bu so far noone has posted a reply and its been what? a month
wusses...
It should be clear to all that there is some unusual and disordinary reason that I the Official, Copyrighted, Twice-Forged, Pat. Pend.
rEAL eSTATE bROKER OF THE KNOWN uNIVERSE
have not posted in a month
twidldee
this reason is that Track and Field now owns my soul
every waking hour of these glorious weeks is either eating, stretching, running, drinking water, or doing Home-Work
pauses for brief flurry of pushups...
and don't forget the random calisthenics
thank god I have Nirvana to set aside the pain |
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| Baise |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|08:50 pm] |
Rant Broils...
Concern has been growing about individual human "freedoms" in reference to both our fine humble president's inauguration and our occupations in the middle east.
But... Individual Freedoms as secured by the Government don't fucking matter
what I see is Oh Canada raised up on high because their their people can walk around naked and smoke pot
Wake UP please I mean Freedom? what the fuck is that?
can these trifles really be what the people of North America care about? freedoms?
meanwhile we(yes you too Oh Canada) continue to lead our world holding the banner of over-consumption.
yes you glorious natural resource rich super-powers How's it feel? duh damn god when you're on that Valium
are we so departed from the natural processes that we don't even realize they occur? do we not see that our actions effect something beyond us? Is this freedom?
freedom: being so safe and secure in one's wealth and access to vital neccessities that it is unclear to the individual one has such luxuries at all!! wtf
I hate North America
shackiddyack buy me a cadillac
woahdiddlyie lets go get high
meanwhile the bureacracy, paralyzed, remains powerless to shift the oncoming torrent of consumers
and BAm we're all fucked
the tracks are laid and we have sex and watch tv looking for undeserved solace whiel our train continues to plunge toward poor little earth sitting peacefully on the railroad ties listening to the peaceful roar of the great iron beast barreling towards it
fuck |
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| Rock King |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|07:35 pm] |
I urge all who read this to, taken with music lust, go out and buy or pirate MArshall Crenshaw..
I'm entirely serious when i tll you this is the most amazing thing I've ever heard
I got "This Is Easy" his compilation for christmas and haven't put it down except for a brief sabbatical with Nirvana's In Utero, something entirely different |
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| wootever |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|10:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | manic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jimi Hendrix-Dolly Dagger | ] |
pay tenchun now...
i got absolutely nothing to say
hmmm well... yeah
drawing a blank, must be the Acid Rock
Is there any point to going to college at all?
I understand that humans are only what we program ourselves as so aren't there better things than massive and un-creative educations that we could indulge our minds in? Just a thought, I lack the intelligence to actually come up wih any sort of idea.
_______________
ooooohhhhh
he drew the line
but somehow it didn't act as the random social barrier he meant it
all this school synthesis homework makes me feel uneducated, painful truth but at least geology is cool. APES rocks the two monkeys.
ahhhhh... that's what i can talk about
the two monkeys in my little picture thingy
well in one of those eastern culture thingys that I don't really understand there is some speak of a "monkey mind"
in other words a brain full of distraction... so this painting by Peter brueghel really speaks to at least my mind..
its two characters, i think they are gibbons..
but they are chained down in front of where a vast sea meets a desert
and thats what I feel like sometimes, like my mind and its monkeys have been chained to the floor
so I retire to this ridiculous state of dreaming and imagination, a world that I can control
I fancy this is kind of forward and chic(tee-hee) but really.. just meaningless daydreaming
another perspective
by the way, being the total psycho ADD child I am I rock the monkey mind all day long and use the whole yoga thing to escape that tada
my first long post |
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| I miss the desert |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|11:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blameless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Elliot Smith! | ] |
beanie babies... Sigh
I was walking up the steps on my front porch this evening when BAM...
I took a breath and every single one of the thousands of nitrogen particles just collided with my taste buds and I could feel the steel wool and refined plastic dripping off my tongue, pooling with acidic modern luxury in the base of my mouth. I miss the desert, the rainy smell of creosote. The quiet, the dry, the loving caress of jagged stones on the soles of my feet, I miss the desert.
I just once want to taste hope again on the winds but the only crap we get around here is the stale indulgent and heavy taste of starch and hydro flouro carbons. And my cheddar cheese tasted like sausage juices and auguste's car smelled like chicken and I'm trying to avoid DK reading cya later |
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| yo dig this |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|09:03 pm] |
here's my lets fix the world instead of it up rant with no logical association or application to anything in particular
ctrl+v
.. by the by apparently philosophy in lit just studied cultural relativism I know nothing about that but it sounds cool and is probably applicable... apply if you know the thing..Please?
Man has inherited something of a control problem. See the absolute truth man has seen so far is that the individual creature will reach out to change the world aruond itself to best survive. However, the more this truth is simply accepted the less time mankind shall live on this earth. Man is particularly aggresive and tenacious in his manipulations and has developed a strange new oppurtunity. Whereas we have pushed the realm of changing the lithosphere and its O-horizon of Forest and Plain. There are still such changes which we cannot but strive to change. These exist in varying realms but all have to do with planet wide tendency. Volcanic eruption, tidal movements, tsunamis... Since these have been little effected by creatures in the past the chances of But since mankind conducts such vast change on the world around him and in effect takes over entire environments how long before we adapt these intangible processes? It is easier now than ever before. For mankind has or is becoming the environment so much does he change the local world around him. Some environments have lost any sort of indivduality as they become dependent on mankind’s change. So when/if man spreads his tentacles out through out the world would not vast and far-reaching world change be possible? This seems ridiculous. Change the tide? But it’s not harness just the tide but contol the tide using the energy from the moon’s gravitational pull to power factories in symmetrical logical situation world wide. This future of mass cultural/specie specific adaptation is a future both inevitable and one that is tanta mount to global destruction. Evolution is so often referred to in positive terms but the changes in our future would mean not the synchronozation of earth with man but the synchronization of man with a utopia, for man, that allows no change but guaruntees ultimate failure. That is why on the individual level man must learn and teach the passive synchronization of man with earth. So when the greedy and evolving(i spit) upper class seeks this Man/World adaptation and uses globalization to work for global industrialization we must stop him. |
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| Does everyone feel like shit? |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
I'll be up all night again this eve
come on if you've got worse problems like missing genitalia, lost a favorite cd, ingested too many carcinogens?
make me feel bad about complaining so i cut it out and actually do my work |
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| self consciousness sucks |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|10:20 pm] |
so I recorded an interview with ken smith today about the secret
and after listening to it again afterward I realized two things
one: I completely wasted his time by going without an interview plan
two: My voice sounds like that of a person who has done far too many drugs(illegal or no) despite my continuing disgust of self-indulgent behaviors like smoking and never having touched any of that shit in my life.
this is kind of ironic and hilarious.. now I think many things have begun to make much sense, don't know for sure yet though |
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| habitual temporary solutions |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
If it works once it'll work a hundred times right?
No, earth and all of it's parts/functions are temporary
so when you commit to solving a problem like deer overpopulation by reducing the population you stick more than just your own scrawny and/or chubby ass down the barrel of the shotgun
once mankind has removed a predatory animal then the creatures that were once prey to said predators will *drum roll* suddenly have a population uninhibited in its exponential increase by the predators.
And then, as it has, the rapidly growing population will affect the environment
So What Now?
Do we act to replace the wolf and bear in every predatory role they uphold?
But what happens when this is habit?
Well the human race has a tendency to outgrow habits that keep most other species down, especially in terms of food. (see Agriculture)
And when or if we overhunt the deer to a much lesser population? Something still in doubt
We will be forced to start managing forest floor plant species which will inevitably see raise with the removal of their natural predator.
So instead of wasting government money and resource to supply hunters with a solution that is uneconomical in the long run. Why not put money into an alternative more long term solution that ends deer overpopulation at its root, the lack of natural predators.
Look see cause the Earth is a family and we just shot a member of it. Self defense excuses won't get you release in this courtroom, so do you want to rot in prison thinking happy thoughts and lifting weights while glued to the tube or do you want to blow a wall and bootleg it outta here. Let's go find some dynamite.
By the way this is a theory I'm working on so if the reader sees anything wrong, stupid, fallacious, or just plain detestable tell me about it. |
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| It's only a Wee Wee |
[Jan. 29th, 2005|12:22 am] |
As soon as you're born grown-ups check where you pee
And then they decide just how you're gonna be
Girls pink & quiet, boys noisy & blue
Seems like a dumb way to choose what you'll do
Chorus:
Its only a wee-wee so what's the big deal?
Its only a wee-wee so what's all the fuss?
Its only a wee-wee, & everyone's got one
There's better things to discuss!
-Peter Alsop
Oh Yeah |
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| Apes is Divine Cactus |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|12:12 pm] |
Even writing annoying essay is fun
I've realized that cities are the greatest conquest of man, SO much sex in one place. I'll never look again at those enormous billboard bikini models without reverence. Copulate and Populate. It is your duty remember? Man is nothing but
flimsy machine. Societal programming is geared to lead us all down the same road.
The Nature of all life on earth is this way but we have outdone ourselves.
Escape the Machine, Do no harm, abstinence.
Science Rules |
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| Urg |
[Jan. 20th, 2005|05:22 pm] |
I want to leap in air throwing all ugly shit around
french was a brouhaha of what I think and what I know
why is it all so torturous
Ken? Dj'you have fun being contrary? Did anything explode? |
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| white... finally |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|09:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | as usual | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Nice Old Lawn Chair- By: Hint of Disaster | ] |
It snowed some in downtown Olney and admittedly probably elsewhere in our sphere too
sometime last Sunday and I ate snowflakes off the breeze in
the parking lot at safeway, they didn't taste like anything unpleasant!
But if man could taste.. unpleasant he would never raise anything but raw meat and berries to his lips ever again
but oh well
not my problem *) |
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| Yay |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|03:38 pm] |
exams make me laugh
Just write what you know so I can see just how much I've taught you
fun
indulge the system
indulge yourself
justif your actions later when the world is ending |
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| yoga |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|03:44 pm] |
going to Moses's pranayama class at 5:00 today, Yay?
*deep breath* |
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